Remembrance 2023: “I can spend quality time with Dad now.” How care at Royal Star & Garter allows families to enjoy their loved ones

Remembrance is being marked at Royal Star & Garter with a campaign highlighting the benefits its care has on relationships between residents and their relatives.

Family members have spoken of the relief they feel when loved ones settle in at Royal Star & Garter. With residents’ care and wellbeing needs being met by compassionate staff, families can re-establish their relationships, free from caring responsibilities. It gives them back the time to enjoy simply being with their loved one, sharing stories and reliving memories.

Royal Star & Garter is a charity which provides loving, compassionate care to veterans and their partners living with disability or dementia, with Homes in Solihull, Surbiton and High Wycombe and services reaching out into the community.

Among those featured in Royal Star & Garter’s Remembrance campaign is June, who is living with dementia. Prior to moving to the Solihull Home, she was looked after by her three daughters. One daughter, Sue, said removing the stress of caring for June in her own home had impacted the whole family for the better. She said:

“My sisters and I have peace of mind and it’s a relief because the team at Royal Star & Garter now do the nursing bit and we get the best part of her again. We get to take her out, have fun spending quality time together and listening to the stories she has to share. As our children, her grandchildren, have come along, it’s also been important for them to be part of this vital sharing of our family history.”

Oliver’s granddad Peter is cared for at the charity’s Surbiton Home. Peter engaged in face-to-face combat with Japanese troops during WWII, and is a Burma Star recipient.

He later lived in India for many years. Now at Royal Star & Garter, he enjoys regular visits from his family, including great-grandchildren. Oliver said:

“My granddad coming to Royal Star & Garter has been transformative for us as a family. It means a lot to me that I don’t have to worry about my mum and the strain that trying to care for her dad was having. We no longer worry about the practical aspects of care or the anxiety of being far away if something happens to him. It’s also enabled our wider family to come together. It’s lovely for the great-grandchildren to see him regularly and to develop a deeper relationship with him that they would not have had before. My granddad is very communicative. He’s had an amazing life and he tells us amazing tales from his time in India. He’s always been fascinating to be around and living with Royal Star & Garter has enabled us to enjoy that again.”

Derek says his dad Bob started sharing military stories he had never heard before when he moved into the Surbiton Home.

Bob had served in the Army Catering Corps during his National Service, and was stationed for a period of time in Korea. Derek said:

“Before Dad came to Royal Star & Garter, I used to dread the phone ringing. Often it was carers telling me something had gone wrong. Now he’s at Royal Star & Garter the difference is amazing. I come in here and there’s a big smile on his face – I never used to get that. I can spend quality time with Dad now, learning about his past rather than sorting the house and taking care of him. The military connections here spark off memories for him.”

To give money to Royal Star & Garter’s Remembrance campaign, go to www.starandgarter.org/remembrance

Royal Star & Garter is welcoming new residents to its three Homes. For more information on this, new services including Lunch Club, Telephone Friendship Service and Day Care, or to work for the charity, go to www.starandgarter.org

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